there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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