I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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