Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
