I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
