She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
