..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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