He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
