i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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