was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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