Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
