Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
