i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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