i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
