i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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