Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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