I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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