he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
