I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
