i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
zippers are such a cool invention
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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