The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
