I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize