shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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