She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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