it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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