Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize