I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
