Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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