Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
