She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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