You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When did angry sex become our thing?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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