Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
