yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
