Swine flu is the new snow day.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, beer. Big fan.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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