do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
