Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
