can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have post one night stand depression
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