we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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