So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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