I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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