It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
