we're chasing vodka with high fives
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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