Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
