So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
