the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
