I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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