he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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