Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
