He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
