butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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