A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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