I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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