Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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