u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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