Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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