There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize