I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
