It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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