so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize