You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
