That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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