I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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