doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
