Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
