so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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