that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
