He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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