doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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