You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
