I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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