If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
